Escape from Sin's Prison

We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus

We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb

(Kutless - We Fall Down)

I have to admit that my failure the other night has reminded me how much I love and need Jesus. I need His joy, His peace, His presence in my life. After experiencing this for a while in my life I had forgotten how miserable it is to be 'me.' I'm not talking about the me He created me to be, but the me I am without Him. Romans 7:14-20 (The Message) says what I'm trying to say:

"Yes. I'm full of myself - after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time."

But Hallelujah~! "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." (Galatians 5:1a NIV)

Breathe

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I I'm desperate for you
And I I'm I'm lost without you
And I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you.

I'm lost without you.
I'm lost without you.
I'm desperate for you.

Breathe (Michael W. Smith)

Sigh and Sigh Again

In sharing my victories, I feel it is necessary to share my failures also. I blew it last night. I can't go into the specifics (birthday week at our house), but I didn't get what I wanted and I acted like a spoiled brat. No, I didn't get down on the floor and throw a fit, but I was doing exactly that on the inside. It's rather depressing, but I have asked for forgiveness from the person who witnessed this and hopefully received it without too much damage being done. I hate it when the flesh dictates my actions. I didn't recognize the signs at the time because I was too busy making it about me and what I wanted.

Now I have to deal with my emotional baggage. On the positive side it won't take as long as it used to. Years past I would have let it get me down for days. That is making it about me. I'm going to make it about Him.

On the other hand, if we admit our sins - make a clean breast of them - he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. 1 John 1:9 (The Message)

H-E-A-R-T

In Romans 12:3 Paul says this:

I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

This pretty much sums up what God has been teaching me lately. Grace and more grace; being accepted and loved by God without earning a bit of it; and not trying to "do" things for Him but to enjoy life and listen to what He says to do. It's all about Him and not about me.

In our Celebrate Recovery class we talked about relapse the other night. There were several questions we can use to evaluate ourselves......Hurting? Exhausted? Angry? Resentful? Tense?

If you take the first letter of each of these they spell "HEART." I can use these to discern if I need to take action. Just yesterday I was getting annoyed over a situation and letting it control my emotions. I thought of the T question: Tense?? Yes, yes, and yes~! I realized it wasn't worth getting tense and angry over so I chilled out. I averted a potentially dangerous situation that could have stolen my joy and damaged a relationship. I pray I can be alert and recognize what happens and how to deal with it. It really made a HUGE difference.

When we started the Celebrate Recovery class in our church I really didn't think I had a great need for it, but wanted to help and support it. I mean I have problems, but not great big ones. Boy was I wrong~! I believe if we are able to breathe we have some hurt, habit, or hangup that we need help with.

Temptation isn't the sin.......following through with it is. Temptation is a call to battle~! (note to self from class)

Ally Sings

Rebekah had an entry on her blog entitled Girls Night (http://bekasthoughts.blogspot.com/). I was blessed to be a part of the last one Friday night. It's always so good to see Joann. She is one of those friends that no matter how long it's been we always pick right back up where we left off. I love those kind of friendships~!

I guess you could officially call it Moms and
Daughter's Night Out: Joann and her daughter,
Jennifer, and me and our daughter, Rebekah.
Jennifer has an adorable little girl who entertained us quite well. She played on
Jennifer's little piano and sang Ally, Ally, Ally.
Ally is her name so that made it so
sticking cute~! Joann is a doting grandmother.
She is lovingly called "Grammy" by her grand
kids. She tried and tried to get Ally to say
"Grammy" but the little cutie wouldn't comply.
Jennifer's son was out of town so I didn't get to
meet him.

Since our youngest is almost 15 I had forgotten how active and into things they are at that age.

I'm not quite sure I'll have enough energy to be
a grandma. But you can be sure I'll give it my
best shot~!

Thanks Jennifer for your hospitality and for the diet cokes~! Joann, thank you for
being such a wonderful friend.

My Glorious

I love it when God gives me a song. I was thinking about something concerning one of our children and God put this phrase in my heart: "God will save the day." It is from a song called "My Glorious" by Delirious. Here are the words.

The world's shaking with the love of God
Great and glorious, let the whole earth sing

And all you ever do is change the old for new

People we believe that

God is bigger than the air I breathe

The world we'll leave

God will save the day and all will say

My glorious!

Clouds are breaking, heaven's come to earth

Hearts awakening let the church bells ring

And all you ever do is change the old for new

People we believe that

God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave

God will save the day and all will say

My glorious!

Sacrifice vs Obedience

Throughout our Wednesday night meetings our pastor has mentioned Watchman Nee and some of the things he said in his books. I really must read some of his writings. Last night he mentioned these quotes and there is much to mull over in Nee's words. They come from his book Spiritual Authority. If you're anything like me, you may need to read and reread and think about them before you decide you understand what he's saying.

"Faith is the principle by which we obtain life, so obedience is the principle by which that life is lived out."

"Man's actions should not be motivated by the knowledge of good and evil; it should be motivated by a sense of obedience."

1 Samuel 15:22 But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. Listening to him is much better than offering the fat of rams." (The New Living Translation)

Read 1 Samuel 15 and you'll see that Saul disobeyed what God told him to do through Samuel.

When confronted, Saul insisted he obeyed. I've always found it interesting that Saul told Samuel he saved the best sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the Lord YOUR God (to Samuel's God). He didn't say the Lord or my Lord but your Lord. That was when Samuel told him that obedience is far better than sacrifice.

How many times do I try to do something for the Lord (sacrifice) instead of simply listening to Him and obeying His voice? Maybe I should take Psalm 46:10 to heart, "Be still and know that I am God...."