Monday, March 2, 2009

Who has my heart?

Pastor Paul has brought some very anointed messages from God to our body at CFC lately. I am very excited about what God is doing and and is about to do in our midst. He changes hearts and draws us to Him and teaches us so lovingly.

I wrote last week about having to pay so much for the tests that were supposed to be paid for. I directed my anger toward the insurance and the doctor and on and on. Last Wednesday night Pastor Paul asked us, "What do I believe about God? and "What is He to me?" Then we talked about why it is so hard to trust Him in some circumstances when we believe what we believe about Him. Talk about hitting the nail on the head... or in this case, getting to the heart of the matter inside me.

Then Sunday he asked, "Who has my attention; who has my heart?" I am paraphrasing this to myself. I often do that when I take notes. It's like God is speaking right to me and asking me to examine my heart. Ouch again, although there was nothing condemning about it as he talked about how our flesh is not converted and how our mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. God doesn't want to talk to my flesh, He talks to my Spirit.

Is God my only hope? Or is He my way out when all else fails??

I am in a better state of mind this week. Now I have still talked to our company's benefits department. She called me back today and said that she talked to our insurance and if the doctor would use a preventative diagnosis as the primary diagnosis and the medical diagnosis as the secondary diagnosis it would be covered at 100%. She is even going to call the doctor's office for me and explain it to them.

I still don't know if the doctor will do it. We still may have to pay $2200. But at least now I have peace and know that it is in God's hands. I am asking him for mercy and reminding Him that "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Proverbs 21:1

I want to keep my mind on Him so I will have perfect peace. With Him all things are possible, they truly are!! I don't say this to proclaim that the bill will be paid by insurance, but that it is possible for me to have perfect peace even if we have to pay it.

Now I'm getting somewhere...finally.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love what you wrote. Glad you are doing better about the insurance and doctor. love CR partner