My friend, Cora Mae, sent me this last week. I haven't tried it yet; I'm saving it for when I feel really stressed.
Detox for the Holidays for Women
Stress relief diet. This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars
Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly fromthe freezer)
Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.
Here's another one from Cora Mae. She sent this a long time ago and I saved it because I think it's so funny.
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." To this, Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars."