Tuesday, April 29, 2008

never good enough

Pastor Paul made a comment Sunday that we approach God intellectually. He also said that we can't impress Him. How many times in my own life have I tried to do just that? In my legalistic days (I like to think of that as my former life.) I "tried" so hard to be a "good" Christian and do what God wanted me to do. I mean I REALLY TRIED HARD. I made a good Pharisee.We gave up our TV, got rid of all our secular music, went to every church activity; heck, I even wore dresses ALL the time. What did all those things do?? Well, it mostly made me miserable.

Now if you do any of the things I mentioned and God told you to do that, then hurray for you. You should obey God. You shouldn't come up with your own list of things to impress Him though. None of those things brought any of the peace and joy that I sought. I was so busy trying to do things to get close to God that I left Him out of it. All He wants is a relationship with me. If He wants me to do anything else He will let me know.

Living in grace is the most wonderful thing. It has transformed my life. I actually have the peace and joy that I sought all those years. How did I get it? I didn't. God gave it to me. Once I gave up trying to please God and just loved Him instead, He brought such peace and joy in my life. God does that for us in a relationship with His son, Jesus Christ. He gives us His Holy Spirit to lead and direct and convict us if we need to be convicted. A father who loves his children has to chasten them for their own good. If I need chastening God does it in such a gentle way it breaks my heart. I don't want to walk alone anymore. I want to walk with Him.

Now I still find myself trying to fall back in my old life. Just like we talked about in Sunday School week before last........old things are passed away; however we still have the same old brain in our heads.

That can take me down another path, but I don't have time to meander along today. I had an awful headache all day yesterday and didn't get much done. Today I am doing what I should of done yesterday AND what I need to do today. I already have dinner planned; I even have a cake made. Now I'm off to do more laundry and possibly some ironing. It's a beautiful spring day and I am so enjoying it. I wish I had time to work in the yard!

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